So I'm a cop now. Probationary cop. Whatever. For whatever a cop is worth here-- and I plan on making damn sure it's worth something from now on. 'Cause just bein' here doesn't mean much unless I do something to back up the necessary authority that this position should convey. I don't know how some of you guys do it at home. Maybe you have ( Read more... )

If anyone still needs their cup of sugar, mine's sitting out in the hall by my apartment door. It works like this. You come up to the apartment at five in the fucking morning, you ring my doorbell, you tell me you're taking a cup of sugar and you leave before I come to chew your ass out if you're smart. I hate waking up to the doorbell before I've ( Read more... )

[voice post]

Oh, for fuck's sake. Are you fucking serious? This place? After all these years...just when a guy thinks he's gonna catch a break.

LUCY! I am too old for this shit. LUCY!

MATT! ...holy shi-- wait, Matt was here before, I don't-- I'm gonna kill him when I see him.

Happy fucking New Year, John.

Christ.

[voice post]

[ John speaks with a conversational, pre-occupied voice, muffled slightly because of the cigarette hanging expertly from his lower lip. there's a pounding noise in the background from the tacks he's sticking in the wall to hang Christmas lights. ]So...now that I can walk without making an ass of myself again, I need a job. Preferably ( Read more... )

[voice post]

AAAAAAAAH! Where the fuck am I! I am supposed to be sleeping. In a hospital. Right now. Not standing in the street in the middle of nowhere next to some fountain-- no, just. Calm down, John, just seriously calm the fuck down. You are obviously still in your hospital bed and you're just-- dreaming a really fucked up dreamIt's just post ( Read more... )